My Testimony

I grew up in a home that would move around a lot in my earlier years, but no matter what my parents managed to go to church. When I was a kid I though I knew who God was because my parents did, so I did pretty much what any normal kid would do and just follow my parents. I started learning new things each and every day about people and life. I started to become interested in girls and I was noticing that girls were interested in me. I was a big trouble maker and a teachers worst nightmare, but that never stopped me from having a blast! Elementary School was one of my favorite years. I had many friends but I only hung out with a few of them. We did crazy stunts like back flips off the monkey bars, I invented the Tarzan (you swing as high as you can and jump off the swing but hold onto the chain) and so much more.
         Just reading this you may think that this just might be a normal Testimony, nothing over the top or mind blowing, truth is every testimony is mind blowing if you keep on listening.
         When I got to middle school, things rapidly changed. I was always a pretty bright kid and would get outstanding grades. Well people started to to take notice of this quick. I had people becoming friends, people who I would never expect would want to talk to me. It took me an entire year to realize that I didn't have friends, but people who admired my work and wanted to pass school. I was furious, but decided to play with it. I charged people money to copy my work. It was great business, and I made a whole lot of money.
        Throughout middle school, I was struggling to find out who I really. I wanted to actually fit in. It took until 8th grade that I just needed to be myself. I made real friends, but managed to get myself in a whole lot of fights. People thought they knew me, but in reality, no one knew who I was. I was a kid with so much locked inside. I acted and looked happy but I was depressed and always angry. I wanted to get away. Things at home were terrible and nothing every seemed to get any better.
       As I started my freshman year, I took myself out of church completely. I didn't want anything to do it or with God. I ended up discovering alcohol and loved it. All I really wanted to do was drink, but I managed to never get wasted r anything. I was always aware of everything. I just kept going until I felt satisfied, but when that wasn't able to fully satisfy me. Well football season gets underway and I become the starting linebacker for the freshman team. I felt that I did pretty good our first game. The only problem was, I was angry at one of my teammates. This kid kept trying to get in my girlfriends pants every chance he got. Lucky for me he was a fullback and I was a linebacker who could hit. During practice, he gets the ball handed off to him and starts running right at me. I was excited so I sprint straight for him, and I grab him by the shoulder pads and lift him straight in the air and about to slam him head first when BAM! The safety thought I needed help, so he came and ended up knocking me out. I woke up in the hospital for I don't know how many hours later. I got a 2.5 concussion, any higher the doctors said I would of been in a coma and possibly die.
     As usual I was not happy. Everything just kept escalating and the more this happened, the more I hated God. By sophomore year, I had yet another girlfriend. But this girl was no ordinary girlfriend, I actually fell in love with her. My family hated her but I fought for her. I made it clear that I was in love with her. Well one day I got in a huge fight with my family, and I mean huge! I decided I was going to call her, so I did. She ended up picking me up and I spent the rest of the night with her. Later that night we are talking on the phone and it was probably morning by now. She was telling me that she can't handle it anymore. My family was too much and that she just needed a break. I decided to go with it. I later found out that she was about to get with someone who I thought was a bro. I decided to just end us completely and blew up. I was cussing her out and wanting to kill this person.
    Every day I would walk the halls full of hatred towards everyone. I was always looking for an opportunity to get back at the one who stole the one girl whom I thought I loved. I wanted him gone! But the more I felt angry, I would get even more depressed at life. I shunned God away completely! One day I decided to walk home and try and clear my mind. As I get close to half way there, I start to feel pain in my right side. It was the worst pain imaginable. I kept pushing myself to go home but I started to get dizzy and loose my breath. I thought I was going to die right there on the side of the road, but I luckily made it home. When my mom got there she heard me yelling in pain. It was bloody murder yelling and she knew something was up, so she rushed me to the E.R. They found that I had an enlarged liver, too much acid in my stomach, and something was wrong with my bale movements, they just couldn't figure out what actually caused all this. They decided to just guess and check and treat me for ulcers. The medicine they gave me only made things worse.
    I was starting to pass out in the middle of classes. I ended up quiting my job and was bouncing in and out of different hospitals. One Sunday morning I was in bearable pain so my mom decided to ask if I wanted to go to church with them. I said sure since I didn't want to be a jerk or anything. I can't remember what the pastor was talking about, but I do remember him calling for an altar call. I decided to go up there for, what I thought, was mocking God. I tell my youth pastor everything in full detail and he starts to pray for me. Well something started to happened, I was feeling more hands being layed down upon me. As he gets done praying, I turn around and see my entire church right there praying for me. I was feeling something inside of me but I wasn't able to explain it. I headed back to my seat and a lady stopped me and gave me a hug, she told me,"I want you to know that we all love you, and we are praying for you." My eyes started to get real watery so I just told her thanks.
     As I sat down in my seat, my youth pastor came up to me and God spoke through him saying, "I want you to know My true power, and I want you to get closer to Me." I fell to my knees crying my eyes out. I gave up my life that day without knowing what was in store for me in the future.
     God says that He can not be mocked nor tempted, and He showed me the truth that day!
     I am now being led to be a missionary right here in the United States. The Lord has told me the He has a plan for me, I don't know what it is, I just know it is good. It is good because He is leading me the way. With Him all things are possible.
    PRAISE THE LORD ON HIGH!!!!!!!

You are not Alone

Everyday I walk the halls.

No one to listen when I call.

No one to catch me when I fall

Do they really know me at all?

I feel emptiness inside

No matter where I go, I just can’t hide

I look and no one is by my side

 I hear a voice in the tide

“Come and take my hand,

Come and I will take a stand.

Let go and take this hand

I can give you life beyond the sand

I give up my life

Why should I deny His great sacrifice?

Give up your life

Trust me, it is worth the price

 The price to make it up above

To see a life without a shove

Now watch the world fit like a glove

Because He too is compelled by love

Untitled Poem

I can’t control this sin.

I am too full of this selfish ambition.

When does this end?

Where does it start to begin?

Every day I manage to nail you to the cross.

Everyday I act like I’m the boss.

How does your point get across?

Please help me so I am not lost.

I want my past to be erased.

To disappear without a trace.

I don’t want my life to be misplaced.

No more can I be a disgrace.

Now I give you control.

Now I can become whole.

Lead my way with just a push or pull.

Fill my life to be full.

I am crucified with Christ.

I have been given another life.

For Christ I will die.

For Christ I shall not lie.

I am being rearranged

I was told to bring a change.

All of this might seem so strange.

Help me Father to be the change.

My life is full of sharing.

Sharing a promise that is worth knowing.

Why is this happening?

Because this CHANGES EVERYTHING!

This is what Changed

Locked up in an unbreakable cell

This is not like any other jail

How am I to get away?

No longer can I stay!

Slowly I fall to my knees

Slowly I pray to be free

 But how far must I fall,

To even see you at all?

Things are not the same

This is what changed

I am free at last

But how do I erase my past?

Everything just comes and goes

How do I become the one who knows?

Slowly I fall to my knees

Slowly I pray to be free

But how far must I fall,

To even see you at all?

Things are not the same

This is what changed

I am seeing things anew

Things I thought I knew

I am told to plant the seed

Because I am the one who leads

You opened my eyes

And slowly I will rise

You have showed me your face

I just needed some faith

Things are not the same

Because this is what changed

Your Love is Always Near

With every word I speak,

You are the first to hear me

There is nothing I can fear

For you are always near me

With every thought I think

You are the first to know

Now my faith will grow

Because you are always hear

I will live

I will die

Whatever it takes to share your life

You are here

You are there

Your love is always near

With every step I take

You are the one who leads me

So now I will see you

Cause you are always near me

What ever way I may go

You always show me

I will fall to my knees

Because you are always hear

I will live

I will die

Whatever it takes to share your life

You are here

You are there

Your love is always near

God, you are the one I live for,

You are the one I bring fourth.

I will praise you forever and ever.

I will live

I will die

Whatever it takes to share your life

You are here

You are there

Your love is always near

“Though I am free and belong to no man,

I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible” 1Corinthians 9:19

Above All

How do I get through this?
How do I make it out alive?

Above all, you are my solution
Above all, you have guided me through this
Above all, you are the light of darkness
and you are my savior

You have guided me

Through the storms of treachery.

  Where the seas have flooded over me

And drowned my sins away.

The love from you has kept me living

Though I don’t deserve what you have done

You are the only one to keep me here alive

Above all, you are my solution
Above all, you have guided me through this
Above all, you are the light of darkness.
And you are my savior

You have broke my chains of slavery

Were I’ve been locked away far too long

Now I just don’t know where I belong

But now I stand with you

You have opened my eyes to what is true

You have saved me from the scary place

But because of your Grace I am here today

Above all, you are my solution
Above all, you have guided me through this
Above all, you are the light of darkness

And you are my savior.

How is this what makes it right?
You have saved me through it all!